FUNNY STUFF FROM SUITED AND BOOTED JUNE 2002 EDITION

REASONS FOR ALLOWING DRINKING AT WORK

It's an incentive to show up.

It reduces stress.

It leads to more honest communications.

It reduces complaints about low pay.

It cuts down on time off because you can work with a hangover.

It helps save heating costs in the winter.

Increases job satisfaction because if you have a bad job you don't care.

It eliminates vacations because people would rather come to work.

It makes fellow employees look better.

It makes the cafeteria food taste better.

Bosses are more likely to hand out raises when they are wasted.

Pay negotiations are a lot more profitable.

Farting during a meeting isn't so embarrassing.

No one will remember your strip act at the Christmas Party

A MAN DECIDES TO GET A FACE LIFT A man decided to have a face lift for his birthday. He spends $5,000 & feels really good about the result. On his way home he stops at a news stand and buys a paper. Before leaving he says to the sales clerk, "I hope you don't mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?"

"About 35," was the reply.

"I'm actually 47," the man says, feeling really happy. After that he goes into McDonalds for lunch, and asks the order taker the same question, to which the reply is, "Oh you look about 29".  "I am actually 47!" This makes him feel really good. While standing at the bus stop he asks an old woman the same question.

She replies, "I am 85 years old and my eyesight is going. But when I was young there was a sure way of telling a mans age. If I put my hand down your pants and play with your balls for ten minutes I will be able to tell your exact age."

As there was no one around, the man thought what the hell and let her slip her hand down his pants. Ten minutes later the old lady says, "OK, it's done. You are 47."

Stunned the man says, "That was brilliant! How did you do that?" The old lady replies, "I was behind you at McDonalds."